the past 10 days or so i've been sort of home-ridden after injuring my back. the first day i was in a lot of pain and couldn't even get up onto the bed - so imagine my anguish as i tried to climb out of the bathtub (after sadly realizing that xa wasn't home to help me) and subsequently lie down on the floor while fermata poked around my face. now i'm back up on my feet again, albeit walking somewhat unsteadily and penguin-like since taking normal strides makes my back go OW

but anyway. for whatever reason i started thinking about old people and how cute they are, and how you always go "awww you've been married for 30+ years! how sweet!" and things like that, and i wondered... how on earth do people stay together so long? 60 years from now i'm not going to look like i do now. i'll have droopy bits everywhere, my skin will be wrinkly and blotched, i'll be hunched over and my voice will be different.

presumably people fall in love with each other because of 1) looks, and 2) personality, but when you're old the looks part inevitably disappears and when you're hard of hearing or have difficulty speaking as fluidly as you used to, it becomes difficult to have those same conversations you once loved having.

and then what happens? :(


but why so sad. my mum + dad celebrated their 33rd anniversary last month, and dad wrote a long facebook post about it. so cute haha. i love old couples.

i love the use of space and the minimal furnishing. all that glass and light streaming in reminds me a bit of the walrus' house.

now that the weather's warmed up a little i can FINALLY head down to buffalo exchange! it's actually super close to my apartment (8 minute walk?) but carrying heavy bags of clothes is no fun in freezing weather... i've had 2 bags sitting around for 2 months now waiting to be brought down. can't wait to get rid of all this crap so i can make space in the apartment... NOT for more clothes, but just so the place won't look so cluttered.

i also finally put my suitcase away... the living room looks so nice now. i mean, it's still kind of messy and in need of a good sprucing up, but i just freed up a big chunk of space on the floor. now all that's left is xiao an's suitcase and then we'll have a nice spacious-ish living room again. definitely going to do some spring cleaning and redecorating! can't stand how we made what could've been a nice space look so dingy (of course, a good deal of this will require me to get rid of about half my clothes so the closet can double as storage space for household items)

ok dishwashing time.

sometimes xiaxue talks a lot of crap, but i am so glad she wrote this entry about fat people

i know there's a lot of controversy about the female figure and what's good/healthy and what's not yadda yadda yadda but now it's come to the point where it's completely ok to bash thin people and it's horrible and mean to bash fat people. although... generally speaking most thin people are thin because they want to be thin (with the exception of the naturally slim) and fat people aren't fat because they want to be fat, but more because they lack self-control.

either way a lot of it is unhealthy, BUT a lot of it can be fixed. but that's not really the point.

a couple days ago i saw this circulating on facebook:


this isn't the complete picture though, it was captioned and had sizes next to each model. the first was size 6, the second was size 8-10 and the last girl was size 12-16 (national average). maybe UK sizes. who knows. and then a caption about how curves are better.

first of all, for the sake of nitpicking, the sizes are inaccurate. secondly, the picture is obviously biased. if you have any size 12 friends you probably have realized by now that most of them are morbidly obese unless they're ridiculously tall and big-boned. and they tend to have double chins, and no clavicles showing.

so to see men commenting on the picture and going f*** yeah give us size 16 ladies anytime is kind of horrid AND very depressing for me (and i imagine more so for the normal size 16 woman, who probably doesn't look anything like the model). come on, guys. if you're going to bash thin models and complain about how they have no flesh to hang on to or whatever, don't forget to bash the fatties too. sure lots of men like chubby women, but when you're really fat it's just... not healthy anymore.

yet for whatever reason being fat is now glamorized, and it's uncouth to call someone fat. BUT hell yeah it's ok for people to criticize thin people and call them anorexic even though a good many of them are naturally thin (look at the vast majority of japan/korea, full of skinny minnies). it's like the whole race thing - bad to make black jokes, but make as many white jokes as you want since the black people were marginalized first. is that how it's supposed to work?

looking at fat people makes me depressed anyway. i was kind of biggish at one point (135 lbs / 61 kg, very very ashamed) and i never ever want to go back to being that weight again. not to mention like most people i don't look good with more flab.

sooo it's REALLY hard to find a bra that fits, especially since my size isn't common in stores. tons of girls are 32Ds from what i can tell by doing a quick google, so why aren't lingerie stores catering to us!?!?

ANYWAY. for 2 years i've bought bras n stuff almost exclusively from Victoria's Secret, but they never really have anything cute in my size... and the fit is always a little off. the straps are usually too long and non-adjustable, the band doesn't sit the way it should, and the cups start to lose their shape after a couple of months. that, and they keep stuffing tons of padding in their bras. i don't know many D-cup girls who want to look even bigger.

and so! because winter is coming to an end, i thought i'd look for nice swimwear just in case i decide to hit the beach... and as it turns out, VS has no 32D swimwear (makes no sense!). so i had to look elsewhere - eventually found cute pieces from freya.

while searching i also came across a bunch of lesser known lingerie brands and their websites... one of these was Bare Necessities. i only remembered BN vaguely from some article in Teen Vogue... but thought, well, looks decent enough, i just need a set of strapless bras. so i ordered them.


AND THEY CAME.



AND THEY FIT!!!


not only that, the cups actually stay in place. so my boobs don't fall out one way or the other when i lie down or turn on my side. SO HAPPY. gone are the days of waking up to find that half your boob blatantly made its way out in the middle of the night so it could stare you in the face. WHEEEEEEE i am a happy girl

i crashed chuck the sheep on kong because i got a score that was too high... lame.

apart from badly written software... this week's been all about dyeing my hair. i got a box of palty honey apricot to use, but i figured i would need to lighten my roots first since a great deal of dark hair had grown out, so i got out my trusty clairol bleach and set to work. halfway through the process i got frustrated because my hair was looking a bit patchy (i did a pretty good job matching the colors on top though! *proud) and decided to get xa to help me over the weekend.

but then... the more i looked at my hair the more anxious i got, and i eventually just mustered up the courage to trundle down to shaw's and pick up a box of dark brown dye. as well as some groceries.

so now my hair is a rich brown color - it's actually a really really nice color, but i haven't had dark hair in so long that it's a little weird looking into the mirror and seeing what looks like a wig but is essentially my own hair on my head. and it's in the ashy brown category, which i like (except it's kinda dark so it's hard to see). i have a tube of bloomingirls in pink brown that i want to use... maybe in a couple weeks' time, since my hair's been through so much crap this week.

so far the worst part of this coming back to boston has been my realizing (on the way to KLIA) that i forgot my retainers. and that was on tuesday. and even though i texted my sister immediately asking her to go to the post office early wednesday morning to mail them she only ended up going on saturday evening. and since DHL doesn't work on sundays, and monday and tuesday are public holidays back home, they'll only mail them out on wednesday. which means I'LL only get them wednesday afternoon.

OH GOD I FEAR FOR MY TEETH. maybe i really should look into invisalign. BUT OH GOD THE $$$